Tag: day 4

CIC 2 Day 4

Today I was a little listless, a little unprepared. However, I made it through most of the day without using my inhaler (more on this in a bit, but I’ve been using it preemptively once or twice daily), and I felt pretty good about the techniques we trained.

The class that I taught went pretty well, but I was out of my comfort zone. I’ve been teaching techniques on how to deal with a situation in multiple steps (defending against a front choke or defending against someone covering your mouth with both hands). Today I focused my lesson on straight punches. There’s actually a lot to cover with a simple technique, and it was a challenge to break down something simple and cover the material in a dynamic way.

At the end of class, we did a drill called EVA. We were given two lists of numbers: 150, 120, 90, 60, 30; and 50, 40, 30, 20, 10. The first column was jumping jacks, and the second was situps. This exercise is timed. I got partway through the list and had an asthma and/or panic attack. I’ve never experienced this in my life. I was wheezing, but I was keeping up, but then it was harder and harder to breathe. I eventually bailed out to get my inhaler and jumped back in, but I didn’t get any better. My classmates were trying to cheer me on, but then I started to tear up, so I got worse. I did a half of the third set (45 jumping jacks and 15 situps – she told me to cut the sets first) before the instructor pulled me. One of my classmates had some canned oxygen, and that helped. I was super embarrassed. Everyone was super nice and supportive, but I still cried a little bit (during the exercise and when she pulled me but not after we left). Apparently, at CIC, Day 4 is when I cry.

That being said, if last year is any indication, I will come back tomorrow stronger, and even though the work will be hard, I will get through it.

Today Nik took some of our students to an event. I had an online class meeting this morning and didn’t want to miss, so I didn’t go to War College.

I weighed in this morning. I’m still sitting at 202 lbs, but I feel stronger, and I think my clothes are fitting a little better, so I’m not letting the number on the scale get me down. We’ll see what my fat percentage looks like in a week or two.

Since I couldn’t fence at the event today, I’m doing 100 lunges to get my practice in for the day. I’m not aiming for a particular target. This is about body mechanics. I want to make sure I’m following the sword into the lunge, and once I’m there, I’m checking the placement of my knee in relation to my toe.

Tomorrow is a regularly scheduled practice day at the park. I’m a little apprehensive about going. I don’t want to see the people who saw me break down last week. I don’t want my mental condition to overshadow my other characteristics. I know I’m the only one who sees it. That’s the great thing about having an invisible illness. Logically, you know other people can’t see it. But when it weighs on you like this, it’s all you see in the mirror. We’ll see how I’m doing tomorrow. All I can do for now is take things one day at a time.